FRIENDS

There are women who have walked arm in arm with me through many years of my life. Women who understand me better than myself . Friends who help give me a place in this world. Their arms form a super-strength spider web of sisterhood that will catch me no matter how hard I fall. These friends are constant, a part of the many pieces of myself. There is one that has flown far away, I cannot feel the comfort of her presence, our bond reduced to an invisible thread that wraps around the globe. Some of these friends are wives, some of them are mothers, some of them have grown-up jobs full of importance, some run their own successful businesses. They are smart and brave and wise. They are all unique and extraordinary.

A few of them are understandably cool towards the arrival of my husband back into the family fold. They had to watch my pain, see my face crinkle into uncontrollable tears, the sparkle and life snuffed out. To stand on the sidelines and see the one they love hurt has hardened and changed how they feel about him. With backs arched, claws out, teeth barred, they sense danger and want to protect their little one. I understand. If it were the other way, I would be the same. My newer friends, the ones I have gladly picked up along the path of marriage and motherhood have found it easier to find forgiveness. They did not see me dressed in silk and lace at the altar, fresh faced and young, full of hope and love offering up my dreams for him to hold. They have not been on the whole journey.

I tell of how he has changed his ways, become a better man, put wrongs to right. Their eyes and silence speak a million words. They have little faith left in my man and want me to stay out of harm’s way – his way. I hope he will prove to them in time that he is an honourable man that has made mistakes, but is worthy of a second chance. Life is too short to hold the broken pieces and sharp edges of disappointment next your heart. If he fails… God help him, they hunt in a pack.

Summer Lovin'

Your hair has gone beach babe blonde, your little button nose has been kissed by the sun as well as by me. Days are spent with sand between our toes, wind in our hair and salty sea around our ankles. You are a King adventurer, brave and fearless, ready to conquer the summer ahead, green crocs on feet and shorts hanging at half-mast. I want to endlessly drink you up, kiss and squeeze your trunk clad bottom as you race in and out of the sea. I want to protect you from the badness of the world and let only the the goodness through. I want to be the soft, warm towel that envelopes you and makes you dry.

These days you make me roar with laughter and I think my heart might burst right through my chest with pride in you. I want to keep you close, so close, wrapped in my mother love, but I cannot. You are not my baby anymore but a soldier, marching with strength and power into your own world of independence. I have started to need you more than you need me. So I will let go, loosen out the cord but just a little, just a fraction. I will give you the freedom your adventure heart desires because I know there is plenty more time for mother love ahead. I will take a step back but I will always be within reach.