Heavy Heart

Broken, cracked, bruised whatever way you call it when your lose in the game of love your heart hurts like hell. Mine feels heavy, really, really heavy. Like a boulder, cold and hard sitting in my chest making it difficult for me to breathe against it's weight. On the days when my heart is a boulder there is a chain reaction to another one, a smaller one that lives in my throat, it is probably more of a stone or a large pebble. It makes me take large gulping swallows that cause the tiny furrows between eyebrows to deepen with the pain. My whole face will crinkle up like a newborn and I am crying. Crying huge gulping painful sobs of hurt and I have to remember to breathe but breathing is difficult because of the weight in my chest where I have the boulder in the place my heart used to be. And i can't see any end to the pain, I am in it's epicentre and sometimes i feel as though I am being crushed by the sadness and the brokeness of it all. I know I just have to wait and let time take it away but time as a companion can offer little comfort.