Chapters

I was looking at old photos tonight - I mean eighteenth birthday party old and beyond. Who let those children out on their own? OMG! Who let them live on their own, away from home and go out drinking on their own!! I am going to a BF's hen this weekend hence was looking at old pics trying to find the most embarrassing ones (obviously cannot deviate from ritual humiliation that makes a hen party). I know it is me in the pictures, be it a much more fresh faced and peachy version, but I feel so disconnected with that girl now it is like an out of body experience. It is a world without the two most important people in my life - my husband and my son, a world were they did not even exist to me, a world where I did not know the real pain of love, a world without fear of living or dying, a world that was part of a different lifetime, a world from a closed chapter of my life. So what happens when these worlds collides? The impact kicks up a bit of dust (or maybe it is volcanic ash?!)and I am left wondering what chapter am I on now?